I thoroughly enjoyed writing on this blog site over the past 9 weeks. It is something that I never considered and had it not been for this class would not have registered on the site, much less write a story. I am proud of myself because I actually set up and designed the site on my own (without my son’s help) because anything “outside of the box” gets me a little bit anxious. However, I appreciate it being included in our assignments because blogging allowed me to share a small part of my life from 1972. Who knows, maybe I will register on Face book next.
Thank you everyone for sharing your talents and a part of who you are.
Professor, thank you for your encouragement throughout.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Friday, September 3, 2010
New Beginnings
After a turbulent relationship with her parents, especially her mother, the young woman was asked to leave the family home to save their marriage. She considered all that had happened since that day on April 17, 1972 when she met them for the first time at the age of 11.5 years. She remembered her father disliking her birth name and giving her a totally different name upon arrival from the airport; she remembered the disrespectful names that her mother would call her; she remembered the animosity from her brother and sister; she remembered how “suffocated” she felt living in the home but not having the courage to leave; she remembered her first day at school – it brought a smile to her face; she remembered her first job – that too brought a smile to her face; she remembered the tense relationship between her parents. She remembered sharing a room with her younger sister and how the sister would abuse her privacy and her belongings; she remembered a lot more sadness and knew that she was more than ready to make it on her own. She knew that she would be happier.
She found a home in another town away from her parents and siblings – a one room apartment with shared bathroom facilities. In the one room was a bed, a stove and sink in a corner. There was a refrigerator, table and chairs and a closet. There was also an electric meter on the wall where she would insert coins for electricity. It was incomparable to how she lived with her biological family but knew that she would be free and most of all she would be happy. She signed the lease and returned with a friend to pack her few belongings. Her parents were seated in the kitchen yet they did not speak to her or offered any help. She walked to the kitchen door with the ironing board under her arm “Bye mummy, bye daddy.” There was no response, no acknowledgement. The young woman left.
As the years past the young woman would reflect on her journey and tried to figure out what had she done to deserve such emotional abuse from her biological family. It had been a long journey but she realized that in the midst of all the sadness she was always protected – someone had been praying for her. Ironically, her parents’ marriage dissolved 6 years after the young woman left home. Many years later she reconciled with her father, sister and brother; her mother was not interested in reconciliation even after the young woman initiated one.
The young woman flourished as she matured and she excelled at whatever she attempted. She married, divorced, remarried and eventually had a child of her own. Her relationship with her father became stronger and continues to be the best even though they are separated by the Atlantic Ocean. She is now at the best stage of her life. Did the abuse from her family in London have an adverse effect on her? Yes, very, very much but with counseling from her childhood physician and a psychologist she began to understand why her biological mother, especially, behaved the way she did towards her. She had given birth to the young woman at the tender age of 16 years and although she married the child’s father and had 2 more children, the biological mother had resentment towards her, blaming her for ruining her life.
True happiness is knowing and accepting that you are loved by, and created in the image of, a Divine Creator.
KNOWLEDGE IS POWER
She found a home in another town away from her parents and siblings – a one room apartment with shared bathroom facilities. In the one room was a bed, a stove and sink in a corner. There was a refrigerator, table and chairs and a closet. There was also an electric meter on the wall where she would insert coins for electricity. It was incomparable to how she lived with her biological family but knew that she would be free and most of all she would be happy. She signed the lease and returned with a friend to pack her few belongings. Her parents were seated in the kitchen yet they did not speak to her or offered any help. She walked to the kitchen door with the ironing board under her arm “Bye mummy, bye daddy.” There was no response, no acknowledgement. The young woman left.
As the years past the young woman would reflect on her journey and tried to figure out what had she done to deserve such emotional abuse from her biological family. It had been a long journey but she realized that in the midst of all the sadness she was always protected – someone had been praying for her. Ironically, her parents’ marriage dissolved 6 years after the young woman left home. Many years later she reconciled with her father, sister and brother; her mother was not interested in reconciliation even after the young woman initiated one.
The young woman flourished as she matured and she excelled at whatever she attempted. She married, divorced, remarried and eventually had a child of her own. Her relationship with her father became stronger and continues to be the best even though they are separated by the Atlantic Ocean. She is now at the best stage of her life. Did the abuse from her family in London have an adverse effect on her? Yes, very, very much but with counseling from her childhood physician and a psychologist she began to understand why her biological mother, especially, behaved the way she did towards her. She had given birth to the young woman at the tender age of 16 years and although she married the child’s father and had 2 more children, the biological mother had resentment towards her, blaming her for ruining her life.
True happiness is knowing and accepting that you are loved by, and created in the image of, a Divine Creator.
KNOWLEDGE IS POWER
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Moving on......
The young girl grew into a young woman and as she adapted the British culture there were many confrontations with her mother. During her first year her mother asked if she would like to return to her homeland because her grandmother misses her. She would later reflect on these questions and wonder why she did not have the guts to say “Yes, I want to return to grandma.” She recalls many arguments with her mother but could not understand why they happened, and her only solace was found in school. During those earlier years her father spoke very little to her but he always had something fun to say to her sister and brother. He adored her sister while her mother lavished love upon her brother. Who was there for her? She went through much heartache at home and promised herself never to have three children; one, two or four but not three, and she made this promise based upon her loneliness with her new family.
Following her high school graduation she became a shorthand typist apprentice with a major organization that encouraged her to pursue secretarial studies while she worked, which she did. She excelled in secretarial studies and her employer funded the school fees. During this time she remained with her parents who, after witnessing her achievements, gave her the choice to travel or contribute towards the rent at home. Of course she chose to travel, a choice that has helped her to develop into a stronger young woman with excellent social skills that allowed her to relate in a diverse environment. However, where she excelled in the workplace the situation at home became intolerable and there continued to be friction between mother and daughter. The situation was so terrible that the young woman contemplated ending her own life and wrote a letter to that effect. Of course her mother found the letter and never once asked the young woman why she felt the way she did. Her father rarely intervened because mother was the dominant figure.
Over time her relationship with her father became stronger as her parents’ relationship deteriorated but this father-daughter relationship was to come to an abrupt end as her mother decided that at 21 the young woman must leave the family home, and gave her father an ultimatum to either make their marriage work or put their daughter out. When her father explained the situation the young girl did not hesitate to find an apartment. She knew that she needed some freedom but did not know how to initiate the move, so she was thankful for her mother making that decision for her.
Following her high school graduation she became a shorthand typist apprentice with a major organization that encouraged her to pursue secretarial studies while she worked, which she did. She excelled in secretarial studies and her employer funded the school fees. During this time she remained with her parents who, after witnessing her achievements, gave her the choice to travel or contribute towards the rent at home. Of course she chose to travel, a choice that has helped her to develop into a stronger young woman with excellent social skills that allowed her to relate in a diverse environment. However, where she excelled in the workplace the situation at home became intolerable and there continued to be friction between mother and daughter. The situation was so terrible that the young woman contemplated ending her own life and wrote a letter to that effect. Of course her mother found the letter and never once asked the young woman why she felt the way she did. Her father rarely intervened because mother was the dominant figure.
Over time her relationship with her father became stronger as her parents’ relationship deteriorated but this father-daughter relationship was to come to an abrupt end as her mother decided that at 21 the young woman must leave the family home, and gave her father an ultimatum to either make their marriage work or put their daughter out. When her father explained the situation the young girl did not hesitate to find an apartment. She knew that she needed some freedom but did not know how to initiate the move, so she was thankful for her mother making that decision for her.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
New Coat and First Day of School
The following day her mother, noticing that the young girl felt cold, took her with her siblings to purchase a new coat. A strange heavy outer garment that she was not used to but appreciated once she wore it. On the same journey there was a trip to meet her mother’s father who had lived in England for many years and was preparing to return to the island that she had just arrived from. The young girl did not know her grandfather but had heard a lot about him. It was a bitter sweet reunion because she knew that she would not see him again because he would be sailing back home soon.
A routine was set and within days her mother, again with her siblings, began the task of getting the young girl into a school. Several schools were visited and the young girl was given an academic test on each occasion; passing with flying colors. One school actually suggested to her mother that the young girl is placed in a more challenging environment because her education is outstanding. Mother appreciated this recommendation and the young girl was finally registered in a mixed gender school not far from home.
Her first day at school arrived and her mother accompanied her to the principal’s office. The young girl had been accustomed to wearing a school uniform so being able to continue that trend made her happy. She was escorted to her homeroom and greeted by a class of Caucasian boys and girls of the same age. The teacher, a male, was also Caucasian and she noticed one other black child, a boy, in her class. The principal spoke to the teacher then left. She was introduced to her new classmates and assigned a seat beside a group of girls who would take care of her for the next 2 years in school. Little did she know that this had been prearranged to make her feel at home in her new school and country. Instead of a math lesson, the teacher had planned a welcome party with music and discussion that the young girl could associate with; music and discussion relating to the country of her birth. For the first time since her arrival in this foreign country she felt accepted.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
The New Family
On the morning of April 17, 1972 driving through London town with her father, mother brother and sister, strangers to her, the young girl’s 7 year sister offered her some snacks. She did not recognized the snacks that she was offered. When she asked what they were her mother said “It’s chocolate.” She had never before seen the type of chocolate that they offered, the chocolate she had seen was the one grounded into a paste once it left the tree and which her grandmother used to make delicious chocolate tea. The young girl shook her head, refusing the chocolate. Her brother and sister would glance at her shyly but neither of them spoke and the young girl did not know what to say to them. She knew their names because her grandmother had spoken to her about them. They drove through many crowded streets and she saw huge and tall buildings that did not make any sense to her. There were cars all around and some were in longs lines not going anywhere. This was not adventure.
The car finally stopped in an area where there were many, many houses attached to each other and the young girl noticed three tall buildings close together with a playground. Everyone exited the car and walked toward one of the tall buildings. She watched as her father pressed a button then waited. Minutes later a door opened and to her amazement the exact same “metal box” that she disliked at the airport was opening in front of her and she was ushered in. This was a longer ride than at the airport then finally the doors opened and she was in an area with four corners and doors in each corner with numbers. She noticed her mother going towards number 75 and opened the door. Everyone entered – this was her new home. She could not understand how one minute she was outside, then the next in the “metal box”, and in another instant she was in the house. It would be weeks before she understood this weird method of getting into the house and realize that her new home was on the twentieth floor of a twenty-four storey building and that the “metal box” was called a “lift” (elevator). This was one of many culture shocks that she would experience.
Her father had not said much after the introduction at the airport and once inside the home everyone and everything was strange. Her younger siblings attempted to interact with her but gave up. Her father was seated in the living room while her mother busied herself in the kitchen. Suddenly he called her; the young girl went; a little unsure of herself because she had never had a father called her name before. To her dismay, her father explained that now she is in England he will be changing her name to “Judy” because he does not like the name that she was used to. She must respond to this new name whenever she is called; the young girl nodded. The new name lasted one day, how was she to adapt to a new name after 11.5 years? A new family, new culture, new home, new name, all in one day but her young age did not permit her to discuss this with anyone and she dwelt on these changes for a long, long time.
The car finally stopped in an area where there were many, many houses attached to each other and the young girl noticed three tall buildings close together with a playground. Everyone exited the car and walked toward one of the tall buildings. She watched as her father pressed a button then waited. Minutes later a door opened and to her amazement the exact same “metal box” that she disliked at the airport was opening in front of her and she was ushered in. This was a longer ride than at the airport then finally the doors opened and she was in an area with four corners and doors in each corner with numbers. She noticed her mother going towards number 75 and opened the door. Everyone entered – this was her new home. She could not understand how one minute she was outside, then the next in the “metal box”, and in another instant she was in the house. It would be weeks before she understood this weird method of getting into the house and realize that her new home was on the twentieth floor of a twenty-four storey building and that the “metal box” was called a “lift” (elevator). This was one of many culture shocks that she would experience.
Her father had not said much after the introduction at the airport and once inside the home everyone and everything was strange. Her younger siblings attempted to interact with her but gave up. Her father was seated in the living room while her mother busied herself in the kitchen. Suddenly he called her; the young girl went; a little unsure of herself because she had never had a father called her name before. To her dismay, her father explained that now she is in England he will be changing her name to “Judy” because he does not like the name that she was used to. She must respond to this new name whenever she is called; the young girl nodded. The new name lasted one day, how was she to adapt to a new name after 11.5 years? A new family, new culture, new home, new name, all in one day but her young age did not permit her to discuss this with anyone and she dwelt on these changes for a long, long time.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Arrival and Inspection
The air steward accompanied her to immigration, all the young girl had to do was follow she was asked no question and all her documents were in order – thanks to her grandma. She does not remember much about the journey from the airplane, through immigration, to getting her one suitcase, she was just dazed and tired still unable to figure out a lot of things and seeing, for the first time, a lot of Caucasians. There was a time when she was ushered into what appeared to be a large tall “metal box” with a lot of other people and her escort. When the door closed the “metal box” seems to go up by itself and it left a strange nauseating feeling in the pit of her stomach. Just when she felt that she could not breathe, there were no windows, the “box” came to a sudden jerking stop and the door
opened. She could not get out fast enough then was guided into a room where her escort spoke to a Caucasian man in a white overcoat. The man was a doctor and he explained that he would be examining her to make sure that she was a healthy young girl. The escort left and the doctor asked her to remove the top part of her clothing then he left the room. Totally confused, the young girl could not remember if she was instructed to remove just her dress or if she was to remove her petticoat (slip). After removing her arms from inside the dress and petticoat she held the clothes to her bosom and waited anxiously – unsure what to do next. The door suddenly opened. She was so frightened that she released her hold on her clothing and allowed the dress and petticoat to fall from her grasp. Both the young girl and doctor were surprised but he calmly told her that she need only remove the top part of her dress in order that he might examine her upper torso. He listened to her chest, back, told her to breathe in and out, checked her eyes, ears, mouth, tongue and skin. Then told her she was a healthy young woman and “welcome to England.” Her escort returned and the doctor handed some documents to her. They went into another “metal box”, this time it went down. She had the same feeling in the pit of her stomach.
As they walked, there were a crowd of people who seem to be looking at her, staring. Some had cards with names, others were smiling, some were hugging. She did not know what faces to look for. Was there someone in the crowd for her, someone who knew her? Her grandma had told her that her parents would be at the airport to meet her but the young girl had no idea what they looked like. They, however, would know what she looked like because her mother had sent the outfit that she wore. She saw a family that she thought was hers but the escort walked away from them. Then, suddenly a woman, a man, a little boy, and an older little girl stepped forward to the escort. This was her new family? Words were exchanged papers signed and the escort handed over the young girl to the woman. Strange hugs and even stranger introductions. Her father took her suitcase and the two children, while her mother took her hand as they walked to her father’s friends waiting car. Her new life had begun but little did she know what awaited her.
opened. She could not get out fast enough then was guided into a room where her escort spoke to a Caucasian man in a white overcoat. The man was a doctor and he explained that he would be examining her to make sure that she was a healthy young girl. The escort left and the doctor asked her to remove the top part of her clothing then he left the room. Totally confused, the young girl could not remember if she was instructed to remove just her dress or if she was to remove her petticoat (slip). After removing her arms from inside the dress and petticoat she held the clothes to her bosom and waited anxiously – unsure what to do next. The door suddenly opened. She was so frightened that she released her hold on her clothing and allowed the dress and petticoat to fall from her grasp. Both the young girl and doctor were surprised but he calmly told her that she need only remove the top part of her dress in order that he might examine her upper torso. He listened to her chest, back, told her to breathe in and out, checked her eyes, ears, mouth, tongue and skin. Then told her she was a healthy young woman and “welcome to England.” Her escort returned and the doctor handed some documents to her. They went into another “metal box”, this time it went down. She had the same feeling in the pit of her stomach.
As they walked, there were a crowd of people who seem to be looking at her, staring. Some had cards with names, others were smiling, some were hugging. She did not know what faces to look for. Was there someone in the crowd for her, someone who knew her? Her grandma had told her that her parents would be at the airport to meet her but the young girl had no idea what they looked like. They, however, would know what she looked like because her mother had sent the outfit that she wore. She saw a family that she thought was hers but the escort walked away from them. Then, suddenly a woman, a man, a little boy, and an older little girl stepped forward to the escort. This was her new family? Words were exchanged papers signed and the escort handed over the young girl to the woman. Strange hugs and even stranger introductions. Her father took her suitcase and the two children, while her mother took her hand as they walked to her father’s friends waiting car. Her new life had begun but little did she know what awaited her.
Friday, July 30, 2010
The Journey - Part II
The young girl had finally fallen asleep only to be awakened by a voice asking her if she would like something to eat. She knew it was morning but had difficulty trying to figure out where she was. There were no birds, no dogs barking, no trees and her grandma was not there. There was a lot of sun because the airplane was way high in the bright blue sky; the only beauty that she saw and could relate to. She suddenly remembered that she was on her way to the foreign country. She responded to voice, saying “No, thank you. I am not hungry.” Her stomach felt uneasy.
The air stewards were busy serving other passengers and she watched intently as they offered breakfast row by row. It seemed that everyone except the young girl was eating but she just was not hungry.
“Ladies and gentlemen, we will be arriving at our destination in approximately 1 hour.” The voice seems to travel all around her. She was almost there. She thought about her grandma and what she would be doing now; probably making breakfast for her cousins, aunts and uncle. She wondered if grandma was missing her. The air stewards were busy again, picking up trays and telling some passengers to adjust their seats to the upright position and to fasten their seatbelts. Her seat was already in the upright position it had not been changed but someone checked her seatbelt. “Air stewards, please prepare for landing.” Someone made another announcement and the air stewards stopped being busy.
She looked out the window but did not see the blue sky, it was gone. In its place were gray clouds with little trees and buildings below. She began to feel nauseous. The airplane kept going up and down causing her to feel sick. It finally began to get lower and lower then with a loud thud, it hit the ground. It moved so fast and was so noisy that she wondered what was happening, but then the noise stopped and it moved much slower until it came to a stop. “Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to London, Heathrow Airport. We hope that you will enjoy your stay and thank you for choosing to travel with British Airways.” London, England, she had arrived in the foreign country!
The air stewards were busy serving other passengers and she watched intently as they offered breakfast row by row. It seemed that everyone except the young girl was eating but she just was not hungry.
“Ladies and gentlemen, we will be arriving at our destination in approximately 1 hour.” The voice seems to travel all around her. She was almost there. She thought about her grandma and what she would be doing now; probably making breakfast for her cousins, aunts and uncle. She wondered if grandma was missing her. The air stewards were busy again, picking up trays and telling some passengers to adjust their seats to the upright position and to fasten their seatbelts. Her seat was already in the upright position it had not been changed but someone checked her seatbelt. “Air stewards, please prepare for landing.” Someone made another announcement and the air stewards stopped being busy.
She looked out the window but did not see the blue sky, it was gone. In its place were gray clouds with little trees and buildings below. She began to feel nauseous. The airplane kept going up and down causing her to feel sick. It finally began to get lower and lower then with a loud thud, it hit the ground. It moved so fast and was so noisy that she wondered what was happening, but then the noise stopped and it moved much slower until it came to a stop. “Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to London, Heathrow Airport. We hope that you will enjoy your stay and thank you for choosing to travel with British Airways.” London, England, she had arrived in the foreign country!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)