Moving on......

The young girl grew into a young woman and as she adapted the British culture there were many confrontations with her mother. During her first year her mother asked if she would like to return to her homeland because her grandmother misses her. She would later reflect on these questions and wonder why she did not have the guts to say “Yes, I want to return to grandma.” She recalls many arguments with her mother but could not understand why they happened, and her only solace was found in school. During those earlier years her father spoke very little to her but he always had something fun to say to her sister and brother. He adored her sister while her mother lavished love upon her brother. Who was there for her? She went through much heartache at home and promised herself never to have three children; one, two or four but not three, and she made this promise based upon her loneliness with her new family.

Following her high school graduation she became a shorthand typist apprentice with a major organization that encouraged her to pursue secretarial studies while she worked, which she did. She excelled in secretarial studies and her employer funded the school fees. During this time she remained with her parents who, after witnessing her achievements, gave her the choice to travel or contribute towards the rent at home. Of course she chose to travel, a choice that has helped her to develop into a stronger young woman with excellent social skills that allowed her to relate in a diverse environment. However, where she excelled in the workplace the situation at home became intolerable and there continued to be friction between mother and daughter. The situation was so terrible that the young woman contemplated ending her own life and wrote a letter to that effect. Of course her mother found the letter and never once asked the young woman why she felt the way she did. Her father rarely intervened because mother was the dominant figure.

Over time her relationship with her father became stronger as her parents’ relationship deteriorated but this father-daughter relationship was to come to an abrupt end as her mother decided that at 21 the young woman must leave the family home, and gave her father an ultimatum to either make their marriage work or put their daughter out. When her father explained the situation the young girl did not hesitate to find an apartment. She knew that she needed some freedom but did not know how to initiate the move, so she was thankful for her mother making that decision for her.